5 Reasons I Should Sue My College

Dawn Papandrea | August 5, 2009

sue-my-collegeThe blogosphere is abuzz with a story about the girl who’s suing her college because she’s jobless after graduation. Check out what our sister blogger at U. Got It? had to say about it:

After taking out $70,000 worth of loans in order to earn a bachelor’s degree from Monroe College, Thompson graduated this April only to find she had no job. Four months later, and the 27-year-old is still jobless, but now she’s too busy filing a lawsuit against her alma mater to bother sending out resumes.

The whole thing is hysterical to me, starting with the fact that the girl expects her alma mater to pound the pavement for her. Nothing is owed to you! College is about getting an education, not about getting you a job. Sure, career services can help — my husband actually got his first job out of school that way — but it’s up to you to do the legwork and market yourself. Of course, now that she’s made headlines, some dopey employer will offer her an opportunity that she doesn’t deserve. Even worse, imagine if she found a sympathetic judge or jury who wanted to make a statement against high college tuition? Stranger things have happened…

It got me to thinking that maybe I’m missing out on lots of lawsuit opportunities that could net me lots of cash. Here are some things I can sue my college for:

1. College was not the best four years of my life. So many people promised that it would be, but I can honestly say I liked high school better. And I enjoyed my graduate school experience even more than that. I was mislead and I demand to be paid!

2. I graduated second in my class, but companies did not come to me with job offers. Maybe that myth isn’t around much anymore (well, except in Trina’s case), but when I attended college, there was always rumors about graduates walking away with their diploma and near six-figure job offers. Recruiters would mysteriously swoop in — apparently having heard about all of the super term papers you wrote — and the next thing you’d, you’d have a corner office! Of course, this does not happen in real life. And now my college must pay me for loss of wages and mental anguish (I’m still not over the rejection!).

3. I never got to wear a toga, or throw up out of a dorm window. Just saying… More false advertising that college would be full of wild times. At the very least, someone owes me a keg. Bonus: I’m now well beyond the legal drinking age.

4. No one warned me about the Freshman 15. Sure, you all know about it now, thanks to informative articles on the Internet, but the Internet was practically new when I was a freshman. And those darn cafeteria cookies and french fries were there, luring in calorie clueless students like me. I think my college should be held responsible for my muffin top, and pay for a personal trainer and chef.

5. Textbook robbery. Why is it that after paying $100 for a new textbook, I only got $15 when I sold it back in near mint condition, yet you tried to sell me tattered and torn used books for $60? Isn’t that illegal, like ticket scalping? Or price gouging? Whatever you want to compare it it, I think I’m entitled to some of those profits.

I figure one of these can be my ticket to big bucks — which do you think is my best shot? And, hey, if you want to share some bitter college memories worth suing about, I’d love to hear them!

-Dawn Papandrea

9 responses to “5 Reasons I Should Sue My College”

  1. I love it, Dawn! I’m so glad you appreciated my column today on Examiner.com (http://bit.ly/dckbH) and felt ‘inspired.’ Maybe you can make up the monetary difference by going into comedy writing!

  2. I’m with you on the text books, Dawn! What really hurts is the ones that can’t be sold back, even for a fraction of the original price, because the professor changed books or a new edition was released before the end of the semester. Oh, the woes of higher education. 😉

  3. 6. They didn’t motivate me to study like they should have.
    7. They didn’t help me enough when I ran out of money to pay for college and had to drop out.
    8. They didn’t offer an “Almost Completed The Degree” degree.
    9. They didn’t transfer 100% of my courses when I finally got with the program 15 years later and finished my degree.
    10. They didn’t help me get a job making more than my parents right out of the chute.

  4. Dan Papandrea says:

    Dawn really great points and much agreed. it saddens me that that person feels that she is “owed”

    the problem is most college goers these days have a false sense of entitlement since the economy was more robust while they were growing up. this is certainly not the case and i would hope this leads to stronger conviction and dedication from recent graduates to carpe diem rather than expect diem to be diem exituum (days to be delivered to them) .

    p.s. TOGA TOGA TOGA!

  5. Lynn M says:

    Hey Dawn,
    Loved your post….despite your bragging about being smart, sober, and skinny! Methinks more networking, positive actions, and resume-tuning would have served Ms. Thompson better than whining about a job not being handed to her on a silver platter. Don’t worry, even if she does get a job out of it, she’ll have to live with her whiner status and once the attention wears off it won’t serve her well in the future.
    I think she might be one of those bad Millenials!

  6. UWMstudent says:

    My school professor ignored a serious case of academic misconduct, they also grade solely on the basis of personal opinion, and there is no accountability for this because she is tenured. I am now finding there is no way of holdiong any of them accountable. This is rediculous when my future and a lot of money and even more effort is all on the line

  7. Nic says:

    After my initial outrage and huffing and puffing about this story, I do have a certain degree of sympathy for her, right up until she filed the lawsuit that is. The real world is scary and having to join it is horrible. But graduate jobs aren’t just handed out and filing a lawsuit is not the solution.

    We once had a guest lecturer come in and basically tell us all that we were wasting our time and money, he would never employ any of us and no-one else would either. I’d quite like to sue my university over making me into a gibbering wreck for a whole week after that, before pulling myself together.

    But someone did employ, which was the best way of getting back at him.

  8. Dave says:

    Her claim is stupid. If you wanted to sue your school, this real story is: How do you google for that. Try it. I cant find jack. Here’s my nightmare when I was 12 units from a degree back in Aug 2008.

    My college dropped my major and stopped offering the classes I needed to graduate. They never told me or any of the students in my major that this was going to happen. They didn’t offer any assistance or a path to completion. When I asked for the money back they declined.

    Let me be perfectly clear, this was a state school that dropped the Web Programming major but kept the Construction major after the housing bubble burst and the tech industry made nothing but gains.

  9. Need help says:

    I need help, my professor graded me based on her dislike for me, I took her before a committee at college an I won, they recommended that she open the final up and grade my work and review my final grade. She gave me a D after I had completed 7 out of 10 reports received 50% of the 3 not formatted correctly and My Final Paper was 100 points, I need a lawyer… It is a matter of Principles. now…

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